So, the consumerism based holidays are coming with Thanksgiving being a reason to meet the part of your family you hate most, and then Christmas only being a month away after that, it’s crunch time to shop and find what your friends, family, and other assorted loved (or hated) ones might be desiring most in their lustful ways. Speaking of lust, the Christian holidays seem to also be the preferred time to indulge in all seven cardinal sins, my personal favorites being lust, gluttony, and wrath, but that’s just me.

Continue reading ‘Thanksgiving - just when you thought a fucking “thank you” was sufficient’

So the previous owners were Indian, the new owner is Indian, and, as I said, he is fucking awesome. On the business side of things he is awesome because he actually came through on his dreams of grandeur.

Within the first week of him owning the place he had fixed all of the lights in the place, which brightened everything up. He had begun fixing things, like all the busted ass fixtures in the restrooms were fixed, the washers and dryers were getting fixed, everything was getting the attention it needed. He’s been hiring people to keep the place clean, and it’s been working, he bought a new sweeper which has helped immensely in keeping the place clean, new mop heads, new dust mop, all of that stuff, so the store looks about 20 times as good now.

Continue reading ‘Dots not Feathers’

So the other night I came into work and was told we had some new owners as of daybreak that night, the new owner are papu’s ( the former owner’s) cousin.

At first I was happy and disgusted all  the same time. Happy because I was kind of getting sick of the former owners, the business was going stale and their style of management was failing miserably. Disgusted because I didn’t want to go through the transition of new owners again.

It seems though that my first instinct, happiness, was the one to follow.

The man is hiring new people, talking about upgrades, and finally someone that owns this place is playing the gas pricing game where you keep matching or under-cutting your competition instead of constantly remaining the highest.

What’s this!? The pirate making two posts in one day!?

Anyway, I wanted to update everyone on the work situation. I’ve been bustin my butt recently to get my credit repair company up and running, and lately, that has meant doing all the webdesign myself.

Well the company is doing well, and as for the site, I think it’s totally killer. If anyone has any ideas ( or bad credit), check it out. http://www.revolutioncreditsolutions.com

Basically, our service audits the 3 credit reporting agencies, and makes sure they are following the law exactly the way they should. The way we fix your credit is that in 99.99% of all the cases we get, they haven’t done things according to the law, and they must therefore delete the negative info from your report. Cool system yeah.

Well, I need to go, I have a few other webpages to work on, but keep it real my piratey homies!

So Nikki and I finally took the plunge yesterday and got tattoos together, and if you haven’t gathered it yet, they friggen hurt. Think about it people, you’re using a needle to jam ink into your skin at a rate of around 3000 punctures per minute (at least that’s the rate according to a site I have now lost, if I find it I’ll post it).

Now, I’m not saying that it was not a fun experience, but even the most veteran tattoo artist is going to tell you that it friggen hurts.

Anyway, Nikki decided to get us tattoos for my birthday present. We wanted them to be matching to a point, but not be totally defendant on the other. Basically, we wanted to prepare for in case (god forbid) we ever went our separate ways. Don’t exactly want a tattoo that is incomplete without your ex, right?

So we finally decided on Calvin and Hobbes, actually, this picture.

Now, Calvin and Hobbes is the shit, and we decided that Calvin more closely matches Nikki’s personality, while I more closely match Hobbes. Good thing for Nikki, she got the smaller of the two.

We had a friend who works with Nikki’s mom come out to the house (Yeah, how cool is that shit, right?) and do them. He did Nikki’s first, and popped her’s off in about 20 minutes. Mine took a bit longer at around 40 minutes.

It hits me every so often that this shit is permanent, and not going anywhere, ever. That actually makes me smile. I am permanently branded with the most awesome comic series ever created, and I couldn’t be happier.

Oh yeah, and that whole saying about “when you get one tattoo, you’re going to want another”, yeah, true as hell. I’m already planning my next one.

Tattoos, turning nice suburban white kids into masochists since the earliest civilizations.

Click here to see the tattoos

So Saturday my friends and I decided to go up to the LayFlats Arts Festival. The main reason I wanted to go was to see the Black Sparrow’s Drone Dome and the ToneDefSystems lineup that was playing there. Sadly I didn’t get to see Atarilogic and/or Alaska Westwind perform because I got there too late for their first performance and left too early for their last performance.

Continue reading ‘LayFlats Art Festival and Fun at Chumleys’

So I went to the Black Sparrow for my birthday, but of all my friends and family that I invited, including my parents, the only person that showed up was the person that drove me, my best fiend ever Christina. Which helped keep the bill low, that and the fact that the food I ate there was so delicious that I was only able to fit four beers in my ass, to my credit though, they had some fucking gravity to them. The first beer I had was off the tap and was a Victory Lager I think, the second was in a bottle and was Anchor Steam, the third was a Bell’s Oberon, then I had a sampler of each the Brugges dark stout and the Two Brother’s Oh Brother!, the latter of which I wound up getting a full glass of, although the Brugges was pretty amazing for a stout. For food I had the BLT and E with fries, Christina had some mandarin salad that looked more like art work than food, and then we shared an order of: get this, Bacon-wrapped Dates. I mean I love bacon, but this took it to a whole new level, I mean fruit wrapped in bacon, it was like heaven just came in my mouth.

Continue reading ‘Birthday/Labor Day - Fun Times Were Had By All’

Yarr! Tis another post from the 7 seas of Chicago!

Basically this posting is about a wonderful prank we pulled last night.

But first! A bit of backstory.

Nikki’s dad was living a block down the street from us for some time (who the fuck moves a block away from the woman who divorced him?). Anyway, while he was living there, he lost his job due to foolishness, and his house went into forclosure, and he moved in with his mother.

While living down the street, he found an 80 lb concrete bear lawn ornament in the yard. Now, to throw off his neighbors (as well as us) he would move the bear around the yard several times per week as a gag. He even continued this after he moved in with his mom. It would start at the end of his driveway, move to the middle, move to the front step, move to the other side of the road, ect.

Well, last Wednesday, someone finally bought his house, so he had to do a final clearing of his stuff. After he did this and went back to his mom’s, I stole the bear.

Now, his mom lives about 3 towns over, and only a very select number of people know he moved there. So last night, we took the bear to his mom’s house in the middle of the night, and dropped it off with a sign that read “I missed you! Never leave me again! -Signed, The Bear”

He calls today totally freaked out. Everyone was in on this, Me, Nikki, Nikki’s sisters, and her mom. However, I was the one to do the actual work of it. This way when he started pumping the women for who did it, they all could (and did) honestly say that it wasn’t them.

Now, since he doesn’t want this bear, he’s planning on returning it to the house.

Guess what I have planned….

so this coming Monday is my 22nd birthday and so far it’s shaping up to suck giant cock as far as birthdays go. I mean i’m not working that day so at least I have that going for me.

So far my extravagant plans include trying to get as much of my small collection of friends and family as possible up to the Black Sparrow to eat and drink and maybe barhop a little. However it’s all going to have to happen fairly early in the evening as one of my friends and both of my parents have to be up early in the morning and my other friend has to work that night at 10 pm. However, one of my friends has a birthday early next month so I think we are going to celebrate together sometime next month.

Now that I am done sounding like a babbling little school girl, it seems that either through the luck of the draw or from some inside help my resume has garnered the attention of the company owned by the sisters if St. Francis which provides the sisters’ hospital’s with technical support. So I have a phone screening with one of their recruiters today at 11:30 am. Hopefully that goes well, and even if it doesn’t, I’ll have gained yet even more experience in the job search game.

Sadly this came on the week I decided I wanted a badass huge Mohawk. So the haircut will either have to wait, or leave nothing left with which to make a Mohawk just in case I get an interview with this company.
In other news, my dad has a job now so we are happy about that, shiza porn mike has begun teaching me to play the guitar, so far my skill level makes the prospect of me being any good look Grimm though.

Ok, I’ve started this post with about 9 different intros, and none of them work, so fuck an intro. I’ll just launch straight into it.

I have been starting a business with a couple guys to do credit repair for people. This is all cool, and I am a minority partner in the business. The basic idea is that I do all the database work as well as providing computer solutions to the company.  Now, I will not name the persons involved, but let me give them the aliases of Captain and Jewboy.

Captain is obviously the head honcho. The whole service was his idea, and his design. The trouble is, he cannot do this on his own due to the fact that there is just too much for one man to handle. Hence where I come in. I have the technical knowlege he needs as well as the “let’s get this shit done” attitude. What I don’t have (and neither does Captain) is startup capital and equipment. Let’s face it, all the computer knowlege in the world can’t make a computer appear out of thin air. This is where Jewboy comes in.

Jewboy formerly owned a mortgage company that Captain and I worked at, and therefore, he had the capital, as well as the equipment, and even better, he wanted in. So Captain came up with a good system. He created a franchise that was designed to SELL the service, not PRODUCE it. He then sold 50% of this franchise to Jewboy in exchange for some startup capital and 3 computers. Captain retains the other 50%.

The computers were then part of the company that PRODUCES the service, of which Jewboy has no share. Captain does not like being indebted to Jewboy, and pays him back the startup capital as quickly as possible. Jewboy is supposed to be selling the service, but is not. Not a big deal, he gets paid commission, so no sales, no money for you.

For a time, all is well. Then Captain goes to Arkansas to sell another franchise, and is gone for a week. Jewboy uses this as his chance to strike. Jewboy uses his status as Captain’s landlord to enter Captain’s house, and take back the computers. Mind you, he has no share (and therefore no rights) in the company that currently owns said computers. The infuriating part is that the computers contain very sensitive data about our clients, as well as the proprietary method we use to repair a client’s credit.

This is outright theft.

Jewboy also freezes the company bank account, and changes the lock to the post office box. Pissy. Captain gets home, and we got down to the business of sorting this mess out.

So, I go to check my company email before hitting the sack last night, and find that my account is no longer valid. Knowing the bullshit that has been going down, I call Captain immediately. He calls our webhost, only to find that he is not able to validate his account with them. He tries a password reset, only to find that the reset email has been changed from his own… to Jewboy’s. Now, Jewboy is not on the web account. Shit, I’m not even on it. This invasion of privacy can only have come from Jewboy finding login information on one of the stolen computers.

With him now having access to internal company communications, it is now time to call the police. So at motherfucking midnight, I drive out to Captain’s house, and we spend almost 2 hours with the officer.

We gave him all the documentation under the sun proving that Jewboy has broken the law, and that even the IRS recognizes that he has no place in the company.

All we can do now is wait, but this song has been stuck in my head all night. Obviously, Jewboy is Jewish, and I hate to be racist, but he is really feeding the Jewish stereotype right now.
Click here for the song, I can’t seem to embed things here.